suncatcher

I have been in a co-dependent relationship for the past 10 years. I have posted here off and on about my struggles, his health issues and so on. I have read Codependent No More twice along with other books about attachment styles etc. Through my reading and listening to podcasts I am learning a lot about what makes me do the things I do and why my thoughts are so focused on my qualifier. There is a shift now in my thoughts and in my actions. I am starting to put the focus back on myself. I am not running over to his house to sit with him while he drinks or goes to the bar. That is not how I want to spend my time these days. I am having a hard time telling him that though. When I have tried to talk to him about my feelings before he just shuts down or chooses not to even respond. I am assuming things will just happen as they will. I am dropping the rope. I am also very sad because I am not so sure what this all means for our relationship. I know it can't stay the same nor do I want it to stay the same. I just don't know what will happen. Is this all just part of the process? When you started working on yourself and your issues, how did your qualifier respond? Was there a good outcome or did you have to go no contact and just move on with your life?