I use to get into a state where I would suddenly start sweating buckets uncontrollably, lose feeling all through my body. I think my blood pressure is actually cranked on high in reality but to me it would feel like the opposite. Like my blood is hardly flowing. If I do not sit down immediately I will be unconscious and take out anything in the way of my fall. Get scratched up falling into/along cabinets or something. This never happened drunk, it would happen while actively using but not drunk at the moment. Iwould worry about everything, if I wasn't worried about something, something was wrong I just didn't know what it was yet. I had alcoholism even before the first drink. I felt like I was home that first night I threw up from drinking when I was 14.
Especially when I wake up in the middle of the night, I have another version to actually start my day. What I do is focus on my breathing. Maybe I'm weird or something but i incorporate prayer and gratitude into my thoughts. I pretty much just take control of my breathing. I am a runner so I have pretty good lungs. I breathe as slow as I can WITHOUT struggling. I breathe in very slowly, deliberately, probably close to 10 seconds or something. The exhale for me is really where it's at. I do this much slower and try and let all the fear out. At the end of that long exhale it can feel almost like an opiate for several seconds. Hard to describe. To fall asleep I repeat this process for several minutes or until my heart is content. I'm trying to slow my breathing and heart rate so I guess literally until my heart is content.
Something I noticed from day to day... For example the other day I had one of my toughest days in my over 20 year professional career. I am under pressure to hit a deadline. Things that I have no control over are going real bad. I look bad, I'm stopping to pray which is usually money in these close call situations but not today. I'm just getting in a bigger hole, further from my number and the clock keeps ticking. I cant even stop to eat and I'm getting more tired, more hungry, more stupid. Many of my shortcomings are coming at me. I've gone well past the point that use to be I'm definitely drinking after this! I got through that day. I have a long drive home and its summer so even as late as it was I could still catch the end of the sunset on the way home. I survived. The anxiety blew right over, the cravings, the obsession to drink eventually becomes more of more a speed bump.