One day at a time
I wish we could "love" the addiction out of them. Drugs is a horrible coping mechanism/lame excuse to have "a real good time." I am sorry you are experiencing this. It definitely makes you question if what you have is truly Love. After all, why did he just quit you instead of the drugs? That's how I felt/continue to feel....
All I can say is hopefully you heal every day and hopefully you don't let this affect or bleed into other aspects of your life like I did when my ex-addict did to me. My work performance suffered, I didn't eat or sleep and when I did it was barely enough to feed a 5-year old. Being alive was such a burden, I lost my partner--someone who decided instead of TRYING rehab or getting clean was a waste of time.
One day at a time 😢 that's all we can really do. Feel the pain until you don't. Be around non-judgemental friends and loved ones should you need them to be there for you. Don't blame yourself. It's just the worst feeling to know there's nothing that you can do since he wanted to walk away and enjoy life without you. The healing process will take time. I understand.