Hi Taplow. It sounds like that dirty AV of yours is in full court press mode. Don't listen to it. As you said, you know how it all ends up. It is so frustrating that so many of us build such a short bridge from having time on our hands to drinking. There are so many things I think about now other than drinking when I have some time on my hands. Try to think about more productive ways to use your time. I'm not judging. When I was first sober, the hours loomed and I had no idea what to do with myself. Drinking always sprang to mind. Don't do it Tap. Stay here with us. It is the only way to be healthy.