Originally Posted by Spybee007

Hey all,

I’ve posted back as far as 2011 or Maybe earlier. I am an alcoholic. I have gone a few small periods of sobriety throughout my almost 20 years of alcoholism. 9 months, 4 weeks here and there and more commonly, 3-4 days. I have a friend who’s older and was a coke addict, he’s also battled alcoholism and I always think about what he said to me one day, he said his coke addiction was 90% good times in the beginning/ 10% bad, but went to 90% bad, 10% good at the end of his time using. I am at that point now. 90% bad. I hate, hate, hate waking up with the hangover, it feels ****** physical, but so much worse mentally. I keep counting the years in my head and I’m like, it’s probably too late, my liver is probably shot and I can’t see myself living past 40. It feels like a death sentence given by a doctor, terminal. I’ve been to the doctor recently and all my tests are good, liver is good, blood pressure everything, but I don’t trust the tests and I just feel like I’m dying. I have a few measures in place to assure I don’t drink, but ultimately I am in charge of making them happen and I always seem to help myself out of them so I can drink. I feel better after 3-7 days and I think what’s one more time? I know this isn’t going to stop. Is it too late for me to quit? Is my health ****** and I won’t live to be 70-80 or even more because of my 20 years of binge drinking? Can I make it past 40?