Hello all. I'd like to first make clear, in response to fini's post above, that the reason I'd deleted the particular post was out of respect to the other posters here, not because I couldn't be bothered to reply. I think at the time I didn't want to belittle their valued contributions with cliched drivel which was all I could bring up at the time. I've not been feeling well and I don't think it's just due to a sudden lack of alcohol either. I've just been mostly laying around and it's been an effort to connect up all the thoughts together and post something useful to anyone. I would have thought allowances might be made. I had an appointment with the doctor, well a sort of appointment with the doctor, which because of our social distancing rules - I'm saying nothing - had to be conducted by phone. So that didn't go very well.
Thanks all others above too. Obladi, I'm still not anything resembling myself yet - that might be good, who knows? I'm a jigsaw with several pieces missing. I'm pretty weak and there's no centre to me. I'm filling my time with reading and aimless forays on the internet. I haven't met any actual, real people. Despite feeling generally unwell, I've also lost a lot of weight over time which is surprising given all the calories in alcohol. I know this because every week I tie string round my ankles and fill my loose trousers with gallons of custard until they overflow. Not true by the way just incase you wanted to try it at home. You see fini, that comment is why sometimes I find it a waste of time for me to post here.
I don't reckon I fit in properly - then again no one's typical are they? Despite the amount of alcohol I've drunk over the years I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic if that's a person with a disease. I'm just someone who believes the promises that alcohol gives and doesn't want to stop once I've started. There's nothing practical here. But what's sad for me is that when I'm sober I don't think I need help and when I'm drinking I don't want it.
I want to make crystal clear that I think SR is a great, a really special site and I really wish you all well in your struggles.
I'll think I'll go and make some coffee.