Welcome back James90. Glad you’re back!
When you say “I really need help” this tells me that in your heart you are ready for sobriety.
Notice, I didn’t worry about what you’re thinking. No one gives a bleep about whats going on in your head.
Thinking never got us sober.
If you’re feeling low and defeated and tired you may be ready to surrender to the marvellous world of sobriety. That can only happen in your heart. (In my humble opinion)
Come join us. Be among the living.
It’ll be so much better than drunken misery.