WisteriaLane,
the best way to find the best meeting is to go to several and experience them.
there is the tradition of the primary purpose of a group being to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
the message is that there is a solution, and the suggested 12 steps are the way to get there.
so you will need to go and see if you hear that message being passed on.
some groups’ message is more that “we have a problem in common”, and for those looking for solely fellowship, that may be the best meeting.
if you want the solution that AA offers, find a meeting that is solution-focused.