Welcome back James90. Keep posting at SR. It really does make a difference and can be a great help. I did the smashing up the flat thing years ago, back in January 2006, and was lucky not to be sectioned (the neighbours called the police who took me to a place of safety because I was threatening to harm myself). Thankfully I've never been that bad since and some of that is having somewhere like SR to act as a safety valve. That and a long period of sobriety given how much I frightened myself at the time.
How are you feeling at this moment?