I'm back for good this time...
DENIAL
I put those words first because I was in DENIAL, I cant ever drink again.
Long story short I got drunk and smashed my whole flat/apartment up.
Underlying issues for sure ... But one of those issues I am an alcoholic.
I suffer from depression, and recently I've been having some nostalgia ( not drink related) just childhood, friends, old friends, good times, dad times .
It got me good, I consider my self a mentally strong person, stronger than most. But I can't fight alcoholism, as much as I want to. I've tried and failed for 8 years now , I'm only 30.
I really need help
James.