The zoom meetings really helped. As someone who just went through the first 10 days or so I can say without a doubt that they help. You posted here so keep that up. This site is a HUGH part of it. Holding yourself accountable makes a difference. Jump head first into trying to stay sober. Like someone said above wave the white flag and go for it.
I'm still motivated!!! you gotta just do it. No pride or ego just wide open hit your knees and give in to trying to get better.