I don’t think you can, not for long term success anyway. If you discuss issues while he is sober it may work while he is sober but once he starts drinking more than likely that will go out the door. One of my big issues was the excessive porn use. Last time I brought it up (until marriage counseling once he was sober) was several years ago. It took a lot for me to discuss it with him because I felt like I was being unreasonable because porn and masturbation can be a completely normal thing when nit doesn’t affect the relationship. In my case I felt it really affected our sex life and of course he minimized it because it is normal and he is a visual person and bla-bla-bla., so I never brought it up again until marriage counseling a couple of years ago. He doesn’t even remember having had that conversation.....like at all. There is a reason marriage counselors usually won’t do counseling if one of the people is still actively drinking. It is just a set up for failure. Their drinking is #1 in their life and the are master manipulators who turn everything around on the other person/gaslighting. When issues are brought up. You can’t win that. So you can probably deal with some minor issues but unless the elephant is in the room has been treated I don’t think you can resolve issues. And it will only get worse as time goes on.