I’ve been in you same position where I would carry small bottles or a water bottle filled with Vodka in my car to keep the withdrawal symptoms in check. Unfortunately that ultimately led to me passing out in my car on multiple occasions as the amount I needed to drink to deal with the withdrawal became more and more. The cycle doesn’t stop, it just gets worse. I had to stop cold turkey with the help of Ativan to decrease the more severe withdrawal symptoms. I’ve detoxed 4-5 times over the past two years and I can tell you that kindling is a real thing. This last detox was brutal even with the meds. Make the decision to quit, take a week off work if possible, contact your doctor (don’t be too prideful to make this call) and let them help you. From there it’s about hydrating like crazy, disconnecting from any stressors and getting some rest. I would also recommend talking to a therapist if one can be referred to you. It’s good to have multiple outlets to discuss things.