Re: Sober but the same
Don't discount the idea that maybe this guy is a sociopath, regardless of substance use. Some people are just jerks.
I got my heart broken by a guy who sounds like yours: self-centered, blame-throwing, mean. He didn't have any substance abuse issues and in fact seemed to like it that I did - he could avoid and manipulate me all the better for it. He was a dreamboat when I met him and I was truly deeply in love. It was hurtful, confusing, "crazy-making" for me when he "turned."
If you haven't already, you might want to do some reading about sociopathy. A person needn't be an addict to look like a "dry drunk" (in fact, I hate that term - it's a lame explanation for the phenomenon of being a crappy person).
O