Ok, so this guy.
This man has been in the vast majority of meetings I used to go to (for years, on & off) when I was home. We never spoke more than a few words until New Years Eve when I ran into him in between meetings at the "alcathon." We chatted for maybe half an hour or so, and this confirmed my sense that he's a non-complicated straight-shooter. Almost an exact quote would be, "They told me to go to meetings, so that's what I do. Every day, sometimes several times a day."
After "The Best Relapse Ever" in December, this guy I'll call Nice Guy sort of took me under his wing in a fairly unobtrusive way. Texted me on a daily basis just to check in, made sure to greet me when I saw him in meetings. That was pretty much it. So that last time I drank, he figured out within just a couple of days that I'd gone off the beam. He came by one day just to sit with me, and he was the person I asked to take me to rehab. Because I knew he wouldn't need to talk. And I sure didn't want to talk.
So obviously since I got released during this lockdown, I haven't been to a meeting at home. In fact, I hit the world just when in-person meetings went away. He started up the daily texting again, but it's kind of "more" now. Like, a couple of weeks ago, Nice Guy texted, "Good morning, sunshine." That night he texted, "Have a good day tomorrow. I go to West Virgina, don't know if I will have service or not." Ok, I thought. That's kind of more... familiar, or something? But maybe I'm being overly skittish because I'm so frightened of getting close to
anyone, platonic or not. You know.
Then for a few days, Nice Guy was either sending me Zoom meeting information or asking for it from me. Which was fine.. I figured maybe he hadn't found the website listings, so... ok. Two weeks ago, he asked if a meeting link was good, then texted "Be well, be safe, love to you." Ruhroh. And the next day his text ended in "love to you." Yikes. By this point, I'm getting a text every morning and every evening without fail. Just basically "good morning have a good day" and "good night I hope you had a good day." Ok, Nice Guy isn't complicated - he's just being really nice. Has some sort of special connection because he was involved in saving my life, sort of like that.
Monday evening Nice Guy told me there was a chip waiting for me at my home group and texted, "Thanks for sharing one day at a time." I responded, "It's always now and I never drink now.
" And his response was, "
Love you."
Ok so. His texting has dropped down to one exchange daily since then. There've been no phone calls.
He's not asking if he can see me and there's no way of telling what it would be like if we were running into each other in meetings all the time.
But my spidey sense is up, and I feel kind of uneasy about Nice Guy.
Do I need to "do" anything to address this and make sure he understands I am in no way shape or form prepared to form for any kind of relationship? I guess this is an AA sort of question because he knows the drill, that I'd be advised to stay away from any kind of romance for at least a year. I dunno. I just want to do the right thing here and if the right thing is "nothing," I would really love that answer.
Any thoughts?