Good morning, my friends who "get" me.
You've all done a brilliant job of supporting, not coddling me. Collectively, you've delivered an empathetic hug to my psyche. Thank you.
Cos, I think you nailed it. I was frustrated because having come to a rational understanding of what the dynamics likely were in this situation, I wanted to tie it up with a bow and be done with it. I thought if I were a better, more advanced person, I'd be able to do that. I'm not sure it's ever occurred to me that simply understanding what's happening might actually prevent it from happening again. I think I've always believed that insight will bring me to a place where I can then take some active step to fix myself.
fini, yes! While I've learned that most people are not literal in their words, it continues to flummox me. So many misunderstandings could be avoided if people just said what they meant. Based on what she's shared with me before and after this incident, my house manager has a significant amount of anxiety about how people might react to her directions. She often says, "I'm not trying to be a (witch)..." I get that, can completely empathize with that defensive stance. Wouldn't it be nice if she had some sort of reliable people radar that just knows she can speak plainly with me? Then I could respond in kind and we'd subsequently link hands and sing kumbaya.
Grymt, (((thank you))). I think I'm doing well too. It's nice that you see it and tell me so. Are you doing online meetings now that they're all the rage? Wouldn't it be something if we all got on one together? Hmmmmm
So now Cos, I'm interested in your thoughts on dream analysis and unnecessary psychotherapy. Intrigued to know if that's one subject or two. I don't dream (or at least remember that I dream) very often, so I do pay attention when I do. Before zoloft and trazodone, it seems like I didn't actually get any real sleep for all of the dreaming I was doing. When my subconscious breaks through to communicate with my conscious self, I think there's something to examine.
I want to talk with you guys about this man who drove me to rehab and my sqeamishness about his communications with me. Ironic, given what I just wrote to fini, perhaps. Or maybe completely in alignment. But for now I need to do my house chore then get to work. I just wanted to write that down because I keep forgetting.