Good morning everyone.
8:17 am and rainy day over here which is going to put a damper on the day as we usually get outside at 9:15.
Not doing well at all.
I cried myself to sleep last night. I am in a constant state of stress at home, unless the boys are in separate rooms. I have always known I was an HSP (highly sensitive person) but I feel like there must be more to it. I cannot, and I mean I CANNOT handle the noise of both boys in the same room I have to wear ear plugs or it is deafening to me.
I feel like my nervous system is under a constant state of shock and trauma. And as a result, I explode into anger.
It's not right. I hate every minute of it. But I can't control it. I just want the noise to stop.
I have been researching for answers and solutions but haven't come up with much. I feel so broken and lost and of course like the world's worst mother.
I am drained.
I am resentful that we are stuck in this house every day and that I am stuck trying to get their schoolwork done 4 out of 5 days a week.
On top of that I ate gluten yesterday and my stomach is in knots.
I could keep complaining but what is the point?
I know it's just a wave I need to ride and that I will feel better soon.
According to my astrology podcasts, this is a very intense week until Saturday. I didn't want to believe her but now I have no choice as the proof is in the pudding, as they say.
Happy to be sober and grateful to be going to work this afternoon even though it's a late shift.
Wishing you all a good day- hang in there if you are struggling and just know that you are not alone.