Originally Posted by
BeABetterMan 
Had a little slip but I’m still sober a lot more than I am drunk which is progress. All this isolation and down time though is really causing the drink to call to me. Thank God for Antabuse. It’s kept me straight many days when I’m feeling weak. I haaaaate battling this thing.
I had a friend over to help work on my truck and we hung out for quite a while. He was talking about how everyone thinks I’m killing myself and what a waste of my god given intelligence and personality. Everyone thinks I’m lazy. I feel lazy, I just get bored or overwhelmed or whatever and that drink grabs ahold. But I’m sober today and have been a lot lately. Progress rather than perfection? I don’t think that’s what they meant, but hey, it’s my post and I’ll use it how I darn well please 😂
God bless you all.
I second NicLin’s post above to you.
You can do this. You did it for 67 days, so we know you can do this. You wrote “All this isolation and downtime is really causing me to drink...I hate battling this thing.”
Please don’t let yourself be tricked into thinking the isolation and downtime is causing you to drink. Your addiction is causing you to drink. I know there are A LOT of drinking memes/jokes/forwards going around in regard to this crazy time we’re living in and how alcohol is the solution to dealing with it all. Multiple friends have said to me “ I can’t believe you’re not drinking during the coronavirus! I don’t know how you’re doing it!”
Uhm, it’s ME who doesn’t understand how THEY’RE doing it drinking. If I was drinking right now, I would spend all evening and night drinking, all day under the covers recovering and anxious, and then repeat. I would waste money, my health would be jeopardized, and my working from home productivity would be a joke. Nothing would get done for months and I would sink into a deep, filthy, depression and my home would look like a wreck.
After 20 years of alcoholic drinking, it is shocking that I have that perspective now. That I see drinking as making this surreal time so much worse, not so much more bearable. The reason I see it that way is because I am no longer “battling this thing”, as you stated so clearly. That said, I am still holding the door shut with 2 arms to stop the addiction from coming in, but I am past the point of trying to find the door and shut it and desperately hold it closed, which is where you seem to be when you are still drinking occasionally.
I agree with you totally. It’s about progress, not perfection. But only by (eventually) doing this perfectly (no drinking at all) will the door become securely latched. Then your battle can end. You can do this. I know it. As cliche as it sounds, if I can do it, anyone can.
Now is as good a time as any to practice perfection in regard to sobriety. Then you can say to yourself, “wow, I made it through the coronavirus. I can make it through anything.” And I know you can.