That surrender you speak of came very easily to me. Religious experience was easy, as was subordinating myself to the words of a sponsor, to his particular proscriptions (some of them very eccentric), or to a sense that others, the louder ones, were really on the right track, where I was mistaken. I am coming to see things in another light, this dynamic of authority, advising, accepting advice, the right way and the wrong way, as human beings situated within a broader power dynamic. Like plato's cave. We dare not turn all the way to face reality. We wish to give and to receive, to push and pull within the confines of our own camp fire stories.
You know, I don't think I really ever entertained willpower as an avenue out of binge drinking. I leaped into AA and loved it, and much of what you all say above, I probably would have said.