horsegirl…...it has only been 35 days. I think it is not really very realistic to think that you have forgiven him or gotten over the relationship, in this short amount of time. For relationships that we have invested ourselves in....those bonds are not broken in that short amount of time....
You are grieving, no doubt. That would be the natural and normal thing for you to be doing...in fact, it is necessary. And, it is necessary....and it is full of several different emotions....some all at the same time....like a kalidescope.
Crying is part of it also. I cried oceans of tears.
It is normal to go through periods of ruminating about the relationship. Eventually, all of these stages pass...in fits and starts. This happens in a matter of weeks and months....not 35 days! Some days will be pretty good...others will feel like a relapse.
You will eventually detach, emotionally from him.....if you will let yourself and work on your own issues, while you are going through the grieving process.
I think THIS one principle is essential-----try as m uch as you can to look into your own future desires and dreams....spend a lot of time dreaming about your future and what you want.....the more you look to the future, the less you focus on what happened in the past.
I think that the one year mark is a very significant one....because the relationship takes on the feeling of "past history"....not the feeling of "present events", like it is now.
Extremely Helpful Tip******Learn about "Intermittent Reinforcement". You can google "intermittent reinforcement in psychology". It is the most powerful form of reinforcement. Who knew?
That is what happens when he contacts you.....