I re read my post . I am not hoping he has seen the error of his ways . I said I am fantasizing for moments , then trying to redirect my thinking to what is reality. I am looking to see if anyone has advice regarding controlling your thoughts and redirecting them to the reality that there are no maybes , there is only the reality. Reality being , I do not want to be with a sick person. Sorry if what I wrote was in some way saying I hoped for anything .