Returning "Newcomer"
Spent most of the day (well technically on and off while working from home) reading so many threads and decided to say hello to this wonderful community (again).
About a month ago now, my wife casually mentions there's some yellow in my eyes and this set me off on a month long "no way" and "it cant be" crusade looking in any mirror I could find before settling on "well maybe depending on the light or the camera angle (also took lots of photos privately of my eyes).
Co-morbidity for me -> anxiety, panic, depression, and AUD (the AUD came along after I fessed up and tried to clean up last time).
So while sticking to my meds for the first three and gaining control over them for the most part I perhaps stupidly chose the Covid19 outbreak to seriously give this another go because all of a sudden I had more time to drink (which I did) or I could start to figure it out.
So, the wife left with the three kids because I traveled in early January, was in a big city for a week in mid-Feb when my step-mom passed away, and then I developed symptoms with no real markers for Covid19 but was told to stay home as much as possible until 24 hours clear of symptoms just to be safe.
With people out of the house and on my own, I eventually came around to starting a secure journal online (Penzu is awesome) and things started to go from there.
It did occur to me however that it's never a good time to go cold turkey and especially not during a pandemic where there may be risk of myself using up otherwise valuable health resources.
So I started a drink diary and I'm on Day #2 and maybe it's a form of "tapering" but my goal is sobriety. Five drinks of 2 oz on Day #1 and two so far on Day #2 and if I have a third I am going to try for 1 oz.
Scared to call the doctors and rapid-access clinic at a time like this - but I figured if I can keep somewhat of a good pace here maybe soon I can reach out.
Anyways, glad to be back -- I hope to stay this time. I know it's a great and safe place to be when it comes to these types of topic areas.