Good on you for posting this!!
I agree with what you say about the metal illness thing and I think THAT is nuts! I mean it's a physical organ with blood an' all - who the hell would seriously think it can be immune from illness?
I know where you're coming from - we've been through MONTHS of D being refused psychiatric help, re refered then refused again. We fell on one counsellor who had experience in both mental health and addiction but she was moving counties so we didn't have her for long - I think SOME of the counselling since has done more harm than good.
Because D doesn't attempt suicide we're at the bottom of the list, compounding that is that Psych services want alcohol services to pay and the same vice versa!
Regarding other people, apart from friends only work really knows and I've had the opposite response, they've been helpful and thoughtful regarding meant illness but if I mention addiction it's a case of EVERYTHING being - oh well that's life with an addict!
It doesn't really matter which way round it is - just less stigma would help!