Good morning, Kaner! Welcome to SR
But I really am sorry you had to find us...
My stepson is who drove me to find help--any kind of help for my now late husband and myself. I highly recommend that you read around the boards, especially the "stickies"--those are the posts permanently 'stuck' to the top of each sub-forum. Lots of great information!
My stepson is an alcoholic, crack addict, well, he'll take anything he can get his hands on, really. The one thing I've learned is that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change his behavior. But what I can do is:
Protect myself - I don't have to lose myself at the altar of someone else's addiction.
Not allow myself to be used to further his addiction.
Not just give him money (he'll use it for drugs or alcohol).
Take my time deciding if and how I will help during the next manufactured crisis. (The late Mr. S and I would sometimes help pay for rent but only if we could mail the check directly to the landlord, for example).
Keep encouraging him, when the opportunities arise, to seek help.
I know how hard this has been for your whole family, and I totally understand the complete range of emotions from grief to anger that you have probably been feeling.
I'm so sorry, again, for the reasons you have had to find us, but I'm glad you did. This is a very supportive community! Stop in any time you need