Moving on to day 6. Weekend is over and back to work. The last two weekends I was drinking and not doing anything and messing up my relationship with my wife and not spending time with my son while he saw me laying around. I was drinking without them knowing. This weekend I did most of what I had not done the last 2 weekends. Things are better with my wife as most of those were projects for her/our house. Door is fixed but cost quite a bit. I am lucky because with just a few days of sobriety I can pretty easily clean up the mess. At times in my past alcohol could have made things real bad. Used to drink at work, never caught. Two times I was passed out in the driver seat of my car and woken by cops, neither time was I arrested. One time I had alcohol in the car, the other time I was actually at work and just left and fell asleep in the car. NO IDEA HOW I GOT OUT OF THAT ONE. One time I crashed my car into a tree but managed to get my speed down enough that my air bag didn't deploy and despite bruised ribs I was okay. Nobody saw me crash so I left the crash scene and hid until I was sober then went back and dealt with it. Cops came but didn't suspect a thing. I HAVE BEEN LUCKY. Bottom line, if I continue to relapse I will not continue to be lucky. I will lose everything. I would say I spend 80 to 90% of the year not drinking because what happens is I relapse, drink for a few days hiding it, then quit for a week, few weeks, few months relapse again. Bottom line, I cannot relapse again and will not. This is all behind me now. I am kinda scared writing this and cant believe it as I put it into words but no need to be scared anymore as that part of my life is over. On to day 6.
Edited to add: Joining SR and keeping AVRT at the forefront is what I have decided will be the difference as I always ask myself "What is different this time?"