Should I just try to hate her for what she has done to me and the kids.
No, hate has a way of coming back to bite you in the rear! Love her, love her enough to allow her to hit her bottom, love her enough to take care of your children and help your children through this. Because if she makes it, and she probably will over time, she will need her girls and they will need her. I know it's hard to believe but I believe it will happen this way.
Do not hate her ..... she is suffering from alcohol addiction.