Thank you so much Dee.
Just hanging in there. I guess I just feel guilty too of not being able to be around friends or go out and do much of anything while I am trying to recover.
Like today I had a friend call me and wanted to hang out after saying that I have been trying to get sober and staying home as much as possible and trying to get better.
I even told this friend of mine that I had been seeking help online. I didn't mention this particular forum or site or anything of that nature just that I was online to seek some help and this friend of mine told me that going online seeking help won't help me because it is just a bunch of words and people telling me what to do and if I don't do it what is the point and it is all just a bunch of words from people and how is that going to help me and that I need action and this and that.
And I thought to myself wow, just words, really?
Being on here has helped me a lot and kept me from going back to drinking and doing coke and I don't want to go back to that anymore. Whether it be guidance or advice from people here or just talking with people here has helped a ton like you cannot imagine.
And then I got a call late last night from another good friend of mine. Basically she wanted to come over and drink and do cocaine and I just didn't want to do that anymore. And go back to where I was recently from my last relapse. No way.
I am thinking ugh what is wrong with my friends wanting to try and lead me back to a life of drinking and drugs.
I think to myself I just don't have friends to hang out for fun. All of my friends that want to hang out is just to drink heavily and do cocaine and party. I don't have sober and clean friends to hang out with. All of them drink and do cocaine and smoke weed or hash or do pills or some form of drinking and drugs.
But here I am and I am staying positive and staying away from any influences that will lead me back to any bad choices.