DEE --thanks for the thread.
Daisybelle -- sent you a long pm that I hope helps.
The 4th is to be helpful, not self-pitying nor shameful. Just the facts and uggg -- FEARS. If it is becoming counterproductive or a drag....you are finished. A lot of stuff can be added with the 5th and 10th.
I do a 10th step instead of rehashing a 4th. I did quite an amazing one a good decade ago...and a great 5th that included my sponsor and a reverend. Most stuff now falls under money, my well-being, and my children.
I am willing to make amends to several people, but it would be hurtful to them.
Yet, I am willing.