I feel the same way that whenever I would experience extreme stress and emotion from depression and anxiety the first thing I turned to was drinking or the thought of a drink. I still do being that I am on my first day of trying to get sober and I think about a drink multiples times each hour when I feel a stressful emotion but I just have to focus on diverting it to something more positive. Like you said, I am so glad to have this forum available with so many wonderful people like yourself all going through similar experiences trying to recover.