Another update for anyone who may be reading and looking for advice..
Pah!! I thought it was bad 2 years ago, nope, that escalation we hear about so much... He managed to manipulate me for almost another two years and I promise I am NOT a weak woman, by no means. It was unreal.
It got to the point last month, I am so physically and mentally ill from that relationship that my survival instincts kicked it, it was me or him. I literally thought I was going to die from all the crap. It took it's toll. I finally understand that I had to be seriously ready to leave him for it to end. He would always come back. Of course he would, he knows where the bread is buttered. I cut all contact. It's hard to stay no contact, but I just remind myself how poorly I actually was.
I am now in the process of healing properly. I am taking in the silence and sleeping all night long, waking up with a clear head. Working through thoughts that come my way and remembering the bad times purposely. I am enjoying just being with me, I no longer feel the need to obsess over what, where, who he is doing. Nothing ever changes, it's just the same.
I now feel like I am in a position where I feel able to give advice properly. I just realise what it's like to be on both sides of this, to really want to be able to take advice but find it so hard, to really want to warn people of how it will most likely end up.
I hope for anyone out there in a similar situation that you can find the strength to leave before you reach the point I did, or that the addict/s in your life can find the strength to quit for good.
IC.