My 3 years of stop attempts aren't journalled on here, I didn't find this place till I was 4 years sober.
It was a devastating blow to find out that getting sober wasn't easy and it sucked pretty bad to find out that it's not as easy as just stopping drinking either. Well it wasn't for me anyways.
The bitterest pill was knowing I had been able to do pretty much anything else I had ever set my mind to, but in the end, alcoholism whipped my butt in a fair fight. I had never tried so hard to fix something and not only did I not get any kind of positive results, it got substantially worse.
Keep trying, keep coming back here. Support is vital I reckon.
The old saying "It is darkest before the dawn" certainly applied in my case.