I know my husband well and he will tell our son he’s done drinking. My son will get his hopes up as he loves his dad and will believe him. So how do I intercept this exchange? Do I tell his dad not to tell our son or do I let it play out?
What works for me is to let other people be who they are. I try to be the best me that I can and hope that my actions speak loudly. If I try to control, I have already lost. The best advice I receive comes from the actions of other people and the results that shine through in way they live their life.
I recently talked with a granddaughter about the rocky relationship going on between her older sister and the sister's boyfriend. I initiated the conversation by asking my granddaughter about her opinion of the boyfriend. I think my granddaughter was surprised that an adult asked her opinion rather than trying to tell her what her opinion should be. We talked at great length over a few different things that came up. When she would bring something up, my replies didn't really mention the boyfriend but instead focused more on similar situations that I have encountered and how I dealt with them and with hindsight things that I would do differently today. When our talk concluded, I definitely had warm and fuzzy feelings and a new respect for my granddaughter. I believe the reverse is true as well.