I had drank myself nearly to death. I couldn't find my house one night. I fell in the snow and couldn't get up for over 20 minutes. I was missing my daughters' events because I had forgotten about them. I had chest pains and organ pain all the time. Two of my teeth fell out. (Spent 8+ hours in the dentist chair recently making up for 30 years of neglect). I wrecked my body. I'm living in Day 66 and just now starting to have some "normal" days. I don't know when my final drink was going to happen, but I wasn't far away from it. Don't do that to yourself. It was awful and I'll never fully recover from the trauma. But I am clear, calm, content and my life is quiet now.