Welcome, oh I know that cycle well.

May I ask, did he move out completely? Re: all his possessions, etc. I only inquire because NC will be rather complicated if he still needs to reclaim some things. That’s not to say, what you’re doing isn’t a healthy step for yourself.

I also wanted to mention that I was once heavily engrossed in what’s called “trauma bonding” where the leaving/returning cycle was also part of the dysfunction if that makes sense. I later learned that I wasn’t totally healing each time like I had thought... and that my alcoholic ex GF wasn’t to blame for it all. I played a huge role that’s only taken years to break down. Anyhow, it’s all very early for you and I think these steps of awareness and understanding are all very important.

This forum has helped me beyond words so yes, we are all here to support.