It’s been one week since I asked my alcoholic partner to leave. This is the fourth time in 8 years I have gotten fed up and asked him to leave. He always leaves peacefully. He usually reaches out after awhile and acknowledges his problem and doesn’t blame me for leaving him. I, being codependent, feel horrible and take him back. Who else is going to take care of him? I just realized I’m codependent by reading this forum. I’ve done some research, and WOW, how did I not know this about myself! I’m heading to the library today to get some books on the topic.

because of my recent self diagnosis, I am working hard to not respond to his texts. He texted he loved me two days ago and I have not responded. I realized that I would have responded BC I didn’t want him to feel bad. I worry that my not responding will lead him to drink more.

I’m pretty sure I keep putting his needs and feelings before mine.

I do think this forum has given me strength. First, it led to some self discovery, but it also reinforces that I really have no control over his choices with drinking. He tells me straight out that this is who he is and he will not get professional help. It blows my mind...to not even try!