Thank you so much for this, bora. I've been thinking this but reading it here from someone else has lifted a huge weight off my head.
I'm going to post a darkish message now because it's part of my journey and I don't want to forget it but just know that a lot of the darkness has now lifted (I typed it out yesterday when I was really low and scared) and I'm now focusing on a more positive message moving forward.
Thanks everybody.