Thanks for sharing that analogy. I can totally envision that discussion and see how true it rings for what's happening in our crazy worlds. I've often said that I didn't feel like I was talking with my AH. It was a stranger (the Rat).
I'm trying real hard to detach from my AH. I told him that I was done with the criticisms, talking to him about his drinking, and trying to control (help?) him. I'm taking a step back from our marriage and am going to try real hard to detach.