Originally Posted by fini

Jd,
sorry my post came across as saying you are doing something wrong. that is not what i was trying to say; i meant to encourage you to question your intent in going, since you had alluded to being uncertain about it, and to see if you are an alcoholic in the sense that the term is used in AA.
when you describe your experiences, it does not sound like what you are hearing is the solution as offered by the program of AA.
in addition to checking out refuge recovery, you could also see if you can find some solution-focused meetings.
and i would encourage you to check out the AVRT threads in the secular recovery forums farther down to see if that is useful to you.