Hello,

So here’s my story. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now and have been living together since pretty much the beginning. We are both 27. We’ve had a great relationship until a couple months ago when he started binge drinking on a regular basis and do cocaine (he used to do that and had stopped when we started dating).

Our relationship then started to go wrong - he started going out more often and drinking/using more. One weekend he went to New Orleans with a friend of his and I was really worried because this guy friend is also a big drinker/user and has a very open relationship with his wife. Well I was right to be worried because he ended up cheating on me with a random girl (who is a stripper) in his hotel room. They had tons of alcohol and cocaine until 7am and she ended up giving him a *******. When I found out I was devastated and still am affected by this (it happened in September 2019), but I stayed.

He did some serious improvement and stopped going out until this weekend. He started drinking like crazy and ended up doing cocaine again after inviting people over to our house until 6am, which I was against but had no power in reasoning him. He opened a drawer where we hide cash and he had cocaine hidden there (which I didn’t know and a couple weeks ago I found cocaine hidden in the powder room) Next day I wake up and 5,000$ is missing from a drawer and his iPhone is gone (probably some of the people that came over stole it) That just brought me back to the night where he cheated on me and I figured if I wouldn’t have been home that night he would’ve most likely cheated. I ended up talking to his family (excluding the cheating part) but really about his alcohol problem (binge drinking, he can spend the whole week not drinking but then gets black out drunk on weekend) because it has caused us too much harm in our relationship- cheating, stuff stolen from our house and not to forget verbal abuse.

I am confused on whether or not I should leave him for the cheating or its just really an alcohol/drug problem that needs to be resolved. After speaking to his family he promised he would stop. But how would I know now that this is a pattern every time he or we go out.

Please help!