I never said anything to anyone while I was there with my XAH. He lied constantly to me and everyone around him about all sorts of things. When I was done with the BS, I stopped lying for him, I stop censoring myself on his behalf, and I stopped tolerating lying in front of me. I called BS when he lied to the doctors about not drinking very much when he was first admitted to the hospital for obvious liver failure. I did not lie to any of my friends or family I needed to lean on for help while l I was trying to hold down a job and care for a small child while he was in the hospital. I have been completely honest about my life and my truth with everyone in my life going forward, not to be a jerk to him but because it is not my job to lie for him ever again. If his happiness or lifestyle depends on someone else keeping his secrets or lying for him, that’s his poor decision making. Nothing about my life requires anyone to lie for me, and no one can expect that.

I did not take out a billboard to shame him. But no part of taking care of myself is served by keeping my mouth shut on his account. That is all in service of alcohol and I won’t do it.