Nanadeau

My husband of just 3 years has a recurring drug problem. Every 6 months or so, he goes out and disappears for hours at a time, sometimes overnight. We have a tracker on his vehicle (he is aware of it) and it has geofences that alert me when he is in particular areas, so he knows that I know when he is doing this and where he is. He selects times when he knows I am at work and cannot leave, so he can do as he pleases. It tears me apart,. He will not answer my texts or calls when this is happening, only lets me know when he's home. Somewhere in his head I think he's hoping I won't notice and he can slide by. Recently, I discovered he has been in contact with several escorts, texting them throughout the day (on days where he runs off), only stopping when they are at a motel. I confronted him with this and he tells me that he uses them for drug contacts and that's all. Naturally he deletes all messages from his phone so I can't know what is said. I feel like I'm losing my mind.. somehow he makes me feel like I am being unsupportive because I am upset over the women, and not just the drugs. I am upset over more than that! The lies, women, money, and drugs! I feel so stupid. I want to believe what he says, he absolutely will not admit to it, but deep down I know there's more to the story. I shudder at what I haven't found out on my own, as everything I've listed here was by my own discovery.