but I’m glad he’s working through things in his head.
he did ask while we were cooking dinner “so a long time from now after we’ve worked on building trust and you trust me again, you still wouldn’t be okay with me having a glass of wine with a dinner like this?
nope, he's just shifted around some of the deck chairs on the Titanic.
the booze may not be IN the liquor cabinet, but i doubt it's GONE. he also immediately brought ALCOHOL into your dinner, as a reference and a question about when he will next get to drink - with your permission.
remember this? 12/17
he's said aloud to me he knows now after the incident a week and a half ago where he'd drank with my child while I went to pick up dinner that he has an alcohol addiction. That he really did want to try and moderate with his newfound enlightenment that he may be an A before and see if he could do it so he could prove it to himself one way or the other and now he says he knows he's an early stage alcoholic. And that he doesn't want to end up alone and dead in a ditch somewhere because he knows that's where this could lead. So that's something.
AND.....He convinced me that he has to drink at the Christmas Party Thursday night but he swears he won't get drunk or do anything that would make me mad. Gosh where have I heard this before? So many other times.
AND....he got drunk at the Christmas party.
he is not trying to QUIT. he's merely trying to put up some smoke and mirrors and make gestures that appear to indicate a change in his relationship with alcohol. he's quietly whispering to his true love alcohol...soon, we'll be together again soon.
i am sorry to hear about your mom. it does help to put things in perspective, clarify priorities, and hopefully propel you forward.