Originally Posted by
fortworthnative 
he did ask while we were cooking dinner “so a long time from now after we’ve worked on building trust and you trust me again, you still wouldn’t be okay with me having a glass of wine with a dinner like this? (We made a fancy steak dinner)”.
Nope, he does not get it. Not yet, maybe not ever. Once more, I'm wishing you strength, clarity and purpose, fwn. It's pretty clear that you are going to have to find and follow your own path to a sane and happy life; there will be no help from him.
Who knows what may happen along that path? A month or three or six from now, the things you're focused on now may turn out to be unimportant to you. That was certainly my experience. Like the saying goes,
