Originally Posted by
thomas11 
I sense a case of sabotage Exactly and guilty as charged. I ruin everything good.
I’ve done the same but now am changing/have changed that dynamic.
For me it was letting go of self-loathing learned in part from FOO and my own despicable actions and building compassion and love for the child I was and the person I am now who is trying with a good heart to grow.
O is right that for me it has been excavating my history, letting the demons out of their prison, hearing them, and ultimately we have become friends transmuting into a soul worth having—and oh-so hard-won.