thomas11

I see my other thread got rightfully closed. I am not going to dwell on the bad stuff but will provide a perspective. I come from a mean and feisty family, disgustingly so. I also survived in the vicious small business world of blue collar work. It can be salty. Is it an excuse, of course not.

The only thing I will say in my defense is that I have a feeling a few of you here might have done something similar if you were in my shoes. And if its any consolation it wasn't as b ad as I made it out to be. He had to go get patched up, doesn't remember anything and on we go....sort of.

Quoting Dee "the last time you were in this state you broke both legs and lost your business". Bingo.

And as a result of that I went on this journey of expanding my thinking and perspective and get out of the little universe of small business ownership and family fighting. And what I found was wonderful. A world where love, kindness, peace and friendship were so much more rewarding that winning a fight, and much easier to accomplish. I think people are inherently good, and I was raised that people are inherently bad. SO WRONG. That is my biggest disappointment right now....I did not live by the creed I want to help grow. Kindness and to hurt no one nor anything.

I'm a little unsure where to turn for help but I am going to start with a therapist as opposed to a psychologist or psychiatrist. We have located a therapist nearby and I will be going to see them and end of week if I can get in. Otherwise first available appointment. I've created a document so I can be thorough with what is at the core of my anger. I don't want to forget anything.

For anyone new here and still reading this post. I almost lost everything while being a drunk. I got sobered up and tackled some pretty tough things head on. I ended up completely out of debt, new house and two new cars and all kinds of goodness. Now I am slipping back and its going absolutely the wrong direction. Take it for what you will, its the truth.