Sounds like a tough situation. It's obvious to me at this point, having been around alcoholics quite intimately for my entire 42 years, that although they MUST know the impact their drinking has on loved ones, they somehow manage to stow the thoughts away somewhere deep in the brain. They don't realize the extent of the damage they've caused, perhaps that it's in the past.
The pain is worse when the periods of sobriety are ended with such a binge. For the alcoholic, in their mind it is a "one-off", but for the affected loved one it is more like an avalanche and reminder of the cumulative events and emotions they have suffered through for so long.
For me, my dad is almost 80 and is in poor health and really can't drink at this point. Decided a few months ago to get hammered mid day, which resulted in him falling out of car and hitting head in driveway and my brother and I picking him up at hospital. Luckily for him (legal wise), they (ambulance) thought it was a heart issue initially and took him in, released him hours later due to "alcohol intoxication" only. The fact that he had clearly been driving was overlooked. It was beyond terrible for all. BAC was off the charts yet we get home and he claims he had "one beer".
Same thing with my girlfriend, as I noted here she has been pushing me beyond belief to get engaged and set a hard Dec 26th deadline for that to occur or she's out. Been halfway decent lately, but inevitably the short periods of sobriety all come crashing down. A 5 hour family Christmas eve party wasn't quite enough to get her fix, we had to stop at a casino on way home (she doesn't gamble, was just a place to be entertained and drink). After 2 more tequila drinks she became totally wasted, was stumbling around talking to everyone in sight, even though I had mentioned before we go in that people there are shady as **** and to stay close to me. She somehow also moseyed away for about 15 minutes and I couldn't find her. A nice little Christmas panic for me. Christmas day was actually one of the best days we've ever had, she just sipped drinks all day and stayed sober, probably in hopes getting the proposal which never came. She left this morning and shook my hand and sarcastically said "nice knowing ya".
Got a little off track there but wanted to basically say, hang in there and stay strong, I can totally relate to how hard this is and it's a brutal thing to have to live the endless Dr Jeckyl and Mr Hide life. You are not alone in this effort!