I swear this will be the LAST Christmas that sucks
I guess I got what I wanted. He hadn't drank in over 5 months since I first mentioned divorce in late July. My plan is to file for divorce the week of Jan 6, and part of me wanted him to go back to his usual ways so that I felt justified. Be careful what you wish for. After patting himself on the back all morning yesterday for not drinking for so long because he "loves me soooo much", he told me he was going to drink - just today. Was that ok? I just said, you do what you have to do. He got plastered.
The only thing that did for my mindset was push the love for him even farther away and make me more disgusted in him. I don't know if I can wait until Jan 5 to tell him I'm filing. He's having the time of his life while I suffer silently with the next steps I have to take.
I know I'm on the right path, but knowing it doesn't make it any less painful.