Mitch, I understand how you're feeling. I drank for decades, & it was part of everything I did. I allowed my life to revolve around it. The times I tried to stop left me feeling sad & empty. So I kept trying to manage it - and that led me to a very dark place. My dependence grew, my weekend binging became 24/7 drinking in the end. By that time, it was no longer fun or entertaining - but a necessity. I'm not saying you'd ever reach the point that I did - but the warning signs are there. I'm glad you're taking a hard look at what it does to your life.
Be glad you have the sense to know you're in danger. I know it's difficult to learn to live in a whole new way, but I hope you'll stay with us and keep talking.