The Dangers of Complacency
Well, I relapsed. I have 30 days now, but this one almost killed me. AfterI was woken up from a two day blackout by a seizure, I got my neighbor to get me beer to start tapering. I had friends staying with me the whole time to make sure I didn’t die, but the damage done in the first two days was too much to overcome with a beer taper. On the fourth day of the taper, I couldn’t drink fast enough to keep the withdrawal at bay, so I consented to my friend taking me to the hospital. But, he tried to help me use the bathroom on the way out of the house and I fell and broke the toilet with my head. When he dragged me into the car, I was afraid that it was too late for help.
He had to drag me out of the car and hold me upright in the wheel chair as all physical coordination was gone. My blood test indicated a BAC of .556, and I was still showing signs of withdrawal. They were just as shocked as I was that they got me stabilized enough to walk out under my own power a few hours later. I had my friends take me directly to a withdrawal management detox center. I spent the night and checked out the next afternoon.
I had severe shakes for three weeks, but my nervous system finally regulated on its own.
In hindsight, there were numerous red flags that I ignored, and they are all written down for me to reflect on every time I feel stressed or overwhelmed. But mostly, I just feel extremely fortunate to be alive with minimal long-term damage.
Time to re-prioritize what’s important for my recovery and get back to the business of living.