Hi Nara-
I understand that pain, it does bring a person to their knees. I think for other, maybe more disordered people, it makes them reach out to have someone else fill the hole of need, if you will.
This happened to me. My ex husband. He was engaged a few weeks after our divorce, wife number four. For all I know, he is on wife number five now. It was extraordinarly painful when I found out, but now? I thank my lucky stars for that woman he married. Because of her, he left me alone, permanently.
Please be glad you are no longer just fulfilling his needs and not your own.
E